Q: Will there be drug testing for The MANGUSTA?
A: Absolutely. Any participants can be tested at random leading up to The MANGUSTA. Should any participant test negative for performance enhancing substances they will not be able to participate in The MANGUSTA. Trace amounts of painkillers, alcohol, prescription or black market drugs must be present in participants systems at all times.
Hausman The Gentleman really coming back this year?
A: Yes. Yes he is.
Q: I absolutely can’t wait for my nickname! Who issues it and what’s the procedure?
A: The MANGUSTA Organizers see to it that everyone gets a nickname. This ensures your anonymity as a participant – after all, we are all professionals. Some are given a nickname in the first hour, some may end the day without one. The only criteria is that it fits your personality and plants a tiny seed of questioning ones self. Its totally up to you whether that seed makes you stronger or grows into insecurity issues. Note: if a more appropriate name comes about, your nickname can change at any time.
Q: I am in, just tell me where and whom to make check out to
A: Your ineptitude is truly remarkable. You are the reason we are having bus transportation for this thing. In fact, your inquiry suggests we should get a short bus just for you. Clearly written on the application it reads: Make checks payable to: Adam G. Mail your entry form and pre-paid fee to: 1021 N. New St Bethlehem, PA 18018
Q: How much does this cost?
A: $150. This covers golf greens fees, cart, 3 games of bowling, beers, quoit tournament entry, food, transportation for the entire day, a trophy for the winner and a special souvenir gift for all participants.
Q: I have to cut my grass in the morning and will miss golf. Can I just meet up with you for bowling?
A: Yeah, sure. Would you mind picking up my dry-cleaning too? Shut up and quit being a puss. All 4 events are mandatory.
Q: I am an upstanding citizen, have a reputation to uphold and am concerned about the public nature of this event. What is The MANGUSTA policy on cell phone use, picture taking and the use of various social media outlets? How can I ensure my privacy is upheld?
A: First of all, your reputation isn’t nearly as squeaky clean as you think. Everyone knows you’re a scumbag and that there are much worse pictures of you out there then what could be taken and shared at The MANGUSTA. That said, The MANGUSTA organizers take this topic very seriously, appreciate your concerns and will ensure each participants anonymity. For this reason, sharing or making public any form of the days events is NOT allowed. Sharing, Instagraming, Tweeting, Facebooking, scrap booking any part of The MANGUSTA on a public forum will NOT be tolerated. For the last 3 years, this policy was understood and adhered to by all participants. And while we don’t foresee any issues moving forward, let it be known that any breech of this rule will disqualify you as a participant and blacklist you from all future MANGUSTA events.
Note: the pictures and videos on http://www.TheMANGUSTA.com are posted several days after The MANGUSTA; once the organizers have a clear, sober mind and can filter out objectionable content. All pictures are posted with the approval of the participants within. Should a participant ever want a picture or video removed from the site, it will be done at once, no questions asked.
Q: Can I bring my own ball to bowling?
A: Only if you would like to be regarded as one of the cooler participants.
Q: How can I enter?
A: For logistical reasons, we are capping the number of participants; first come, first serve. Enter your email (on the right) and we will notify you when we are accepting payments. Update: we are NOW accepting applications… click here.
Q: I’m not very good at golf, can I still enter The Mangusta?
A: Absolutely, just perfect your bowling and beer chugging skills leading up to Aug 14th!
Q: What are quoits?
A: What is that between your legs? Grow a set and figure it out.
Q: Can I play golf even though I have to miss bowling and quoits because my wife wants me to go shopping for a new vanity that night?
A: No. Man up and get free for the entire day. You should lose points just for asking.
Q: Are you handicapping the events?
A: No. When guys line up for a pistol dual, do they give one guy two shots to one? Be a Man.
Q: I do not want to be Geo’s partner for the beer chugging
A: We understand your plight but all partners will be picked at random with no exception. This was the only we could make it fair being that no-one wants to be Geo’s partner for the beer chugging.
Q: Are you considering doing any other events?
A: First year we are only doing four events and sticking with the staples: golf, bowling, beer drinking and quoits. In subsequent years, I assure you all leisure sports will be covered: darts, clay-bird shooting, bocce, ping pong, horse-shoes, billiards, fussball, Super Mario Brothers (original), canoeing, poker, softball, arm wrestling, guitar hero, fishing, shuffleboard, pinball, indoor cart racing, white water rafting, curling, bow hunting, tug of war… Got an event? Add it to a comment below.